Helping Someone During a Panic Attack: My Journey + What I’ve Learned

I’ve experienced panic attacks both in private + in public + both are terrifying because they can come without warning + it’s hard for those around you to know how to help. Thankfully, I haven’t had a panic attack in quite a while. Through one-on-one therapy + practicing coping techniques, I’ve learned how to manage them. I’ve “done the work,” + I’m proud of myself.

My first panic attack as a young adult happened during a period of depression. I remember rocking back + forth on my bed, crying uncontrollably, not knowing what was happening or how to stop. 

It was a turning point: I realized my feelings ran much deeper than sadness—they were paralyzing. 

Living in my own apartment in Florida at the time, I was fortunate that my parents were nearby to support me. They spoke gently, held my hand + helped me breathe through it, even though I felt embarrassed for letting them see me like that.

There’s a lot of shame around mental health. Let’s focus on working on ourselves without fear, embarrassment, or shame. Therapy isn’t just for people in crisis, it helps everyone connect better with themselves + others.

PUBLIC Panic Attacks

One of my public panic attacks occurred at Disney Springs in Florida. Crowds overwhelmed me + I started hyperventilating + crying. I had to find a bathroom, splash cold water on my face + compose myself. I felt embarrassed for “ruining” the evening with my family.

Another attack happened during the pandemic while hosting family. Anxiety over COVID-19 + unmasked guests triggered a panic episode. I needed to step away for a few minutes, but I didn’t yet know how to ask for help or communicate what I was feeling. Back then, therapy had just begun + I hadn’t learned to advocate for myself.

Even outside of these incidents, the pandemic heightened my anxiety. Simple things, like unexpected visitors or someone walking too close while I was outside, could trigger panic. One day, a stranger invaded our space + told me to take my mask off. I calmly told her I had anxiety + asked her to keep her distance. It was the first time I voiced my needs to a stranger + though it was stressful, it was empowering.

Taking CONTROL

For a long time, I tried to handle everything naturally, holistically. But during the pandemic, I realized I needed more support. I committed fully to therapy, leaned on my family + decided to try Zoloft, which has helped me manage panic attacks. I still feel anxiety occasionally, but I know how to cope + my loved ones know how to support me.

I also set boundaries to protect my mental health. If people are irrational, conflict-prone, or gaslighting, I remove myself from those situations. Recognizing triggers + responding proactively is now part of my self-care.

HELPING Someone During a Panic Attack

If someone you care about has a panic attack, you can help by:

• Staying calm + with them.

• Offering medication if they usually take it.

• Asking, not assuming, what they need.

• Using short, simple sentences.

• Helping slow their breathing by counting together.

• Being predictable + avoiding surprises.

Helpful phrases include:

• “You can get through this.”

• “I’m proud of you.”

• “Tell me what you need.”

• “Concentrate on your breathing. Stay in the present.”

• “What you’re feeling is scary, but it’s not dangerous.”

Ongoing support includes:

• Letting them progress in therapy at their own pace.

• Praising efforts, even if goals aren’t fully met.

• Avoiding reinforcing avoidance behaviors.

• Remaining calm during panic episodes.

• Taking care of yourself while supporting them.

  
  

These steps can reduce stress, give a sense of control + prevent panic attacks from escalating.

Therapy + medication changed my life. Panic attacks are still part of my story, but they no longer control me. If you experience them, know that help exists + recovery is possible.